MX BIKES, Men At Work, Oxford Utd. stretch jeans, Yam's I RD350YPVS. All of these things were winners back in 1983. Which just goes to show how much things can change in ten years.

Most of all, people change. If you're of a certain age, the early '80s were YOUR time. A time when girls liked Spandau and the Duranics; the lads were into Whitesnake or AC/DC and had crumpled Debbie Harry posters and. bikes-wise, the LC was where it was at.

In 1983 I was 18, had a 250LC which I soon chopped in for a 350, didn't know my arse from my elbow, but, soditall, I HAD a 350LC - a white and blue one with Road-runner lis, an' Pro-Ams, an' Allspccds, an' Baja grips that I forgot to glue on properly, an' nice little blue-anodised bar-end weights from Warwick Motorcycles, an' a steering damper - and I wuz a GOD! Boy, I LURVV WED that bike. I loved it more than any other bike before, after or in-between. I think.

But things have changed. Since then, of course, I (and my whole generation probably) have learnt a lot of things. Learnt that fitting massively oversize 4.10 tyres on a rear designed for a 3.50 is only done by morons; learnt that sex doesn't always have to be a disaster but that vast quantities of cider usually are; learnt that putting gearbox oil in the two-stroke tank is done by-people with the IQ of plankton and learnt how to pull decent wheelies. But most of all, I've Icamt that, although gorgeous, by-today's standards the LC. really, was a pile of shite.

In other words, the decision by UK Yamaha importers Mitsui to reintroduce the now Brazilian-made RD350R seems to make about as much sense as EMI re-releasing Kajagoogoo's greatest hits. Times have changed, people have changed, bikes have changed. In 1983 I hated bastard power-valves simply because they were so good they made my LC obsolete. Last week 1 at first hated the new '92 RD350R simply because it's so bastard OLD.

Which it is... but that's not the whole story. This story starts at why, when Japanese production of the last of the power-valves, the RD350F2. ceased a full 18 months ago, the new RD350R even exists. What happened was that Yamaha's Brazilian outpost took up the old jigs and whatnot with the idea to continue production, with a few minor changes, solely for its domestic market. Mitsui, however, got wind of this and, encouraged by the fact that the UK was for years the powervalve's biggest market, decided to bring them in over here. Apparently Italy are getting some too.

Two major differences plus a pair of distinctly naff (sorry, 'ugly', this is 1992 remember...) white-painted wheels distin-quish the R from the old F2. Namely: a baggy, un-sleek new twin-headlamp fairing (it looked good when 1 first saw it at the NEC; after living with it for a couple of weeks I wanted to attack it with a chainsaw and a can of Holts matt black); and a slightly 'softer' motor.

The term 'softer' is a bit of a cover-all here. For some reason unbeknown to Mitsui the bike, as imported, has a couple of rcstrictor washers in the exhausts which noticably knock off peak power. They'd already been removed from our test bike. Mitsui is advising all dealers to do likewise to theirs.

But even without the restrictors, Mitsui freely admits the R's not quite up to old powervalve standards - although it's close. According to the spex the motor should be identical to the F2... obviously it's not. They're baffled, we're baffled, maybe the exhausts arc more baffled. It certainly sounds quieter than the old F2. Meantimes, other theories involve a slightly softer tunc to compensate for dodgy third world petrol; rain forest-scale tolerances, and the current spot-rate for mahogany on the foreign exchanges.

On paper, it adds up to 117mph and a familiar 13.5scc standing quarter, which is ncar-as-dammit the best the bikes of yore would produce anyway. And, for my money, even though an RGV250 and suchlike is capable of producing far bigger numbers, the R still has enough to ensu beaming smiles before tea.

The beauty of the old LCs and lat powcrvalves was always in the way th delivered. The fact that m their day th were the undisputed, class-crossing, spe kings was a bonus. The fact that now the same figures hardly raise an eyebrc shouldn't totally spoil the party.

It doesn't. The R's engine gave me mc fun than I've had since I was bed-bathed Batley Gen' and reminded me in hilario leaps and bounds of my misspent youth. I so easy'. Powervalves never were all-c nothing like many of today's highly-strui strokcrs can be. They give you what yi want, when you want.

Round town: content, almost silc 2-4000rpm burble-burbling (guaranteed produce a nice cloud of blue smoke at t lights). "Good morning. Missus." T ridc-into-work: 4-7500rpm of (nearl responsible, smooth, fast progress. La dc-dah, sweep, sweep, swoosh. The brai in-a-bin-bag beyond: 7500-9500rpi Nutty time. Whip her 'til she screams. N that throttle. Stomp those well spac gears. Control everything with just a sin} finger on that absolutely delicious clua Don't bother searching beyond 9500rj 'cos it dies quicker than a prawn in a pan boiling water. Ride her cowboy. Yee-h

Of course, what also made the 117mph/I3.5sec figures fun back then, a is equally true today, is that the chassis coi onlyjust take it. An indicated ton round f corners may be nothing to crow about a GSX-R750or Fire Blade, on the relative spindly R it starts to weave and rock c\ so gently and things become, what's t word, exciting. It's never enough to | close to throwing you off. but it is com} ratively crude. The tubular steel frame f xes ever so slightly: the skinny Pin MT75s tell you their limit's not far off; t hard front stoppers feel as if their pads; made of Brazilian hardwood and need hi from the sensitive but useful rear; and I and pieces such as the pegs, centrcstand a spannies scrape when you're really goi for it. But doing all this is fun and relative sane, believe me. While getting anywhere near it on a GSX-R750 or the like is downright teapot.

The other half of the success formula is how civil the R can be during the times when you"rc not in the mood to ape Mick Doohan and threaten the peace and tranquility of the neighbouring countryside.

Travelling on the RD350R is nice. The semi-sports riding position is quite spacious compared to more modern tackle. It's light but very stable (thanks perhaps to the twin headlight fairing throwing more weight over the front). The seat is decent, pillion provision is as good if not better than most 6(X)s and the fairing excellent at bouncing lOOmph-worth of wind off your chest.

Equipment-wise, yes, the R is a tad Antiques Roadshow. Kickstarters and choke knobs and buzzy mirrors. Finish is a bit suspect: the horrid fairing inners, the paint on the wheels. But centrestands, decent grabrailsand swing-arms with more grease nipples than a copy of Easyriders are ideas that I reckon are worth a revival.

This is a practical bike: easy, simple, comfortable and versatile. More importantly it's also good fun AND reasonably cheap (we've seen dealers already advertising them new for under ,£3000).

But what may be most critical is that, despite all the above, despite however practical, however much fun, however relevant, the RD may still be, most people will still think of it as an old bike that's had its day. And though it pains me to admit it, I still can't get that thought out of my head.

The RD350 is still the same fantastic blend of hooliganry and practicality as it was ten years ago. It's still valid. But it's also now a poor man's bike and a little embarrassing when you compare your shop window reflection to that given by bikes with the style and panache of such as the ZXR400. That I find quite sad, but I'm sure I won't be the only one. And that, above all, is the reason why I won't be buying an RD350R. But if that sort of thing doesn't bother you, you'll have an awful lot of fun. I did, in 1983. □